A sad month

Alan and I have been working very hard trying to make a living selling pictures. The money is good but it's either feast or famine. Some days we do really well, and some days we don't sell any. Then life has a way of rearranging your priorities.

My dad has been ill for a long time and he finally passed away on the 21st. It was an event my family has been expecting for months now but it was still difficult to deal with. I have nothing but total admiration for my mom as she nursed him, dealt with his pain and constant struggle to breathe, and then stayed right by his side during his final two weeks of life in the hospice house. And all this time she had been dealing with her own health issues as the doctors kept chopping chunks of skin from her scalp all the way down to her skull. My mom has always been a strong woman and I know that during these past few months she has been bone tired and many times felt like giving up. But she hung in there and with the help of several people in the neighborhood and my aunt and uncle, she managed to help Daddy die with as much dignity as possible considering how a disease like emphysema robs you of all your self respect.

So I took a week off from work and made the trip up to Mississippi to be with Mom during the funeral. She and Daddy had already made all the arrangements so it was just a matter of going through the motions. I had already said my goodbyes to Daddy when I was there in October. He and I had a long talk on the porch and he knew his days were numbered. He was ready to call it a day. I have to say the funeral director did a hell of a job on Daddy in that he looked better in death than he did in life. He looked like he was just sleeping.

Daddy was buried on Thursday. Lots of people came to pay their last respects and Tammie and I struggled to remember who some of them were. It had been so long since we had seen them and folks get old. Daddy's pall bearers were his brother-in-law Jerry McGath; Jerry's son-in-law, Terry Duckworth; Daddy's nephews, David and Richard Clouse; Daddy's cousin Rodney Turner (Judy and Dale's son); and Cory's dad, Bill Fritz. Judy said something at the viewing that really struck me. She simply said, "Thing are going to be different." And I knew exactly what she meant. Eighty years ago, James was born in the house that still stands (barely) at the intersection of Murphy and Fawn Grove Roads. Back then, the roads didn't even have names. When he was in his 20's, Daddy moved up north to find work. He sent money back to his folks to help them pay for the 80 acres that Daniel Clouse had bought. Then he met my mom and in 1967 they moved back to the place where he grew up. For 40 years, James and Alice Clouse have lived on that road. A couple times they moved away, but not for long. Three generations have grown up on that road and everybody knew James Clouse. He was like a cornerstone for that road living within sight of the house he was born in. Everybody liked James. And now, after 80 years on Murphy Road, he's gone. Murphy road has lost it's anchor. Things are sure going to be different.

My first husband, Rick and his wife, Virginia, came to the viewing. I was touched and so was my mom. Rick and I caught up on our lives since the last time we spoke several years ago. He arranged for me to see some of our old friends again and I had a very nice time with Chuck Redwood and Jim and Karen Brown Friday night. It was great seeing them again but it's hard to pick up a friendship where you left off and it has been too many years. You lose that commonality. Even so, I got Chuck's phone number and promised to call him the next time I was in Tupelo and we'll go have a few beers together. Then I went over to Rick and Virginia's on Sunday. Rick had gotten out some of the old photo albums and I can't believe that I don't remember some of our old friends that we used to party with. I also can't believe that he STILL has that old-ass reel-to-reel and that it STILL works and that he STILL listens to those old-ass tapes. UNbelievable. Anyway, that was a nice visit and the food was good. :)

Tuesday I dropped Tammie and Cory off at the airport in Memphis on my way back to San Antonio. It was a long drive -- 14 hours and 830 miles. Back in my younger days a trip like that would have been cake. But now? By the time I got back I was (in Alan's words) just knackered.

Well, I have a few Air Photo stories to tell but I'll save those for my next post.

James Hamilton Clouse - 1928-2008
He had a good life.