Air Photo Outtakes

Greetings from Sarasota! I've been busy this week working my second roll of film for Air Photo. It's been slow going and people are not buying here in Sarasota like they were in Gainesville. I've had a couple interesting encounters and a few good stories. I'm starting to create groups to classify the various types of home owners.

First, there's the I'm-Going-to-Talk-to-You-Trough-My-Door home owner. These people come to the door and peer at me through the window. They refuse to open the door. The most I get is a cursory glance at what I'm holding and then a "Not interested."

Then there's the Slam-the-Door-in-Your-Face home owner. These people will actually open the door and have a look but they won't take the photo in their hands. Then comes the "Not interested." Slam.

You know, there's no excuse for rudeness. Now granted, they probably consider me to be rude by coming to their door unannounced and uninvited. I am considered a solicitor and those kind people are not welcome. I'll give ya that.

However,

I believe I have something of personal value to them and it doesn't take very much for a little bit of courtesy. I don't have a heavy selling tactic. I simply want them to hold the photo for a minute, take a good look at it, and then make a decision while I point out their options. If they are still not interested, I don't push the issue. I thank them for taking the time to have a look and I leave.

One man, when he opened his door and saw what I had, told me that he'd been ripped off for $200 a couple years ago by my company and to GET THE FUCK OUT. It took me a few seconds to recover from the verbal attack and I think after he saw the shock on my face, he felt the need to elaborate. Apparently, some outfit had come by two years earlier. He'd bought a photo but never received it. As soon as he said this I knew it wasn't Air Photo for a couple reasons. I tried to point out to him that it wasn't Air Photo but he was in no mood to listen to what I had to say. When it sounded like he was getting close to the end of his tirade, I apologized for bothering him and left. What an ass.

He was the worst one.

Then there was the lady who interrogated me on what exactly was going to be done with the picture that she wasn't going to buy? She thought what we were doing was illegal and if not, it should be. She even had me come back to show the print to her husband even though they had no intention of buying it. These people belong in the This-is-an-Invasion-of-My-Privacy category. How dare we take aerial photos of their property........like MapQuest and Google Earth and a host of others don't. Even after I explained that there were satellites that could zoom in to take a picture of her doorknob, she wasn't convinced. Her main concern was what was stopping me from selling a picture of her house to some unsavory types? I was like, ma'am, don't take this the wrong way, but who would WANT a picture of your house but you? And second, even if they did, why would they pay $169 for my picture when they could go online and get the same thing for free? Albeit in low res - but an image nonetheless. Jon, the Air Photo manager, said those kind of people probably have something to hide and that there are serious issues going on.

Then there are the people who live in the $2M houses with their $10K a month mortgage payments who have the nerve to tell me that they can't afford $169 for a nice photo of their home. Please. Don't lie and just tell me you don't want it.

Then there are the people who don't want to pay more than $50 for it. I'm like, dude, you can't even get a professional portrait of your kid for that much. And you have to go to them. Here you've had a helicopter come and do an aerial shot of your property (saving you hundreds of dollars for a custom shoot), the picture is delivered to you door all framed up, and all you think it's worth is $50??? See if you can get K-Mart to come out and do it for you then. Moron.

The gated houses are the bane of my selling travels. I can understand why some of the huge mansions are gated. But why are the trailers gated? This one place I went to was a very nice double-wide on a huge piece of land. They had a beautiful deck on the front of their house. And they had a big-ass locked gate. With three very nasty looking pit bulls. What are these people hiding?????? A bunch of pot plants in the woods????

This one lady was more concerned about how I got past her gate (I followed her daughter in) than she was of the photo. But after she got on to me for my shady (in her mind) tactics, she was genuinely interested in the photo -- and even showed it to her husband -- but still decided not to buy a print.

A LOT of people live behind fences and gates in this state. Even junky-looking single-wide trailers are behind formidable gates. I bet the electric gate cost more than the damn trailer. What is the deal? Are there that many loose criminals about? Yeah, if I'm going to steal something, the first place I'd think of going is some redneck place out in the boonies.

And speaking of the boonies. I'm glad as hell I have an SUV. Some of these roads in Florida are a mess. They are nothing but sandy tracks and they have names like NW 140th Ave. Like it's a real road. I wouldn't even call them a road. They're 'oads.' While I'm driving down some of these trails, I keep hearing dueling banjos in the back of my mind. Dare-da-dare-dare-dare. Dink-a-dink-dink-dink. And then way down the dusty, washboard lane you'll find more million-dollar mansions. Un-fuckin-real. Seems like they could pool some of that loot and pave their road.

I guess that's about all I have for now. Alan gets here on Tuesday from the UK. He's flying in to Orlando. So next week we'll be getting to know each other. After that I have an event in St. Petersburg and after that I don't know.

Joe is the MAN!

First, I want you all to know that my boss, Doug, has very cool parents. His mom has let me stay at her house all week and his brother, Joe, has done all the little things to my RV that I've been trying to get done for months. Joe is the bomb! First he installed the cyclone thingy that goes on top of the black tank vent. The he installed my rain gutter extensions (even though they were the wrong kind he made them work). Then he checked the air pressure in all my tires and aired up the ones that were low. Then he did The Great TV Swap for me. I bought a new Sony Bravia and he took out my old, HEAVY, TV and put in the lighter Bravia. This was no easy task. First he had to take off the cabinet frame, remove the TV brace, and then take out the old TV which must have weighed a good 80 pounds. Then he had to put in a piece of plywood for a brace to mount the wall brackets to for the new one I bought. But let me tell you what. His work is immaculate. My new TV looks like it was made for where it is better than the old one did.

And on top of all that, he swapped out the front rope light switch. This may seem like a trivial thing but hear me when I say this. This one little thing to me was huge. I have rope lights above all my cabinets -- one in the galley, one above the table, and one behind the TV and front cabinets. The switch to the rope light in the front was located WAY BACK INSIDE the right cabinet next to the antenna/cable switchbox. I had to stand on the dinette bench and put one foot on the passenger seat in order to reach that switch. Needless to say I rarely bothered to turn on the rope lights behind the TV because the switch was so damn hard to get to.

Now, there are two switches located under the table cabinets. The one on the right is for the rope lights above the cabinets. The one on the left (toward the front) is for the little hallway night light. This made no sense. I already have a switch for that light in the bedroom. Why put one for it way up front in the coach?

So what Joe did was to rewire the rope light switch inside the front cabinets to the one under the table cabinets.

Now I can turn on my rope lights without fifty dozen gyrations to get to the damn switch. One on the left, one on the right, flip-flip, done.

It's such a small thing but to me it has relieved something that annoyed me immensely.

Even right now, all my rope lights are on. They give just enough offset lighting to make it nice in here.

Thanks Joe!

This past week, I've been working my new job. I have a gig with Air Photo where I sell aerial photos of people's houses to the home owners. It's a great job and I like it. I made almost $600 this week and I only sold 13 pictures. My goal was 20 and I missed that but hell, it's my first week on the job. I'll get better. At least I'm making money instead of losing it when I'm not working events.

Tomorrow I leave for Sebring for an RVW rally. After that I'm going to the Bradenton area to camp and to sell more pictures. My next event is Christmas week in St. Petersburg.

You may have noticed that I don't discuss my relationships in my blog very much. I'm not one to kiss and tell. However, I'm excited these days in that I have a new man in my life. He is from the UK and he's coming to see me on the 18th. I am almost beside myself in anticipation of meeting him. And that's all I'm going to say about that. Once we are definitely a couple, I'll introduce him to all my blog readers.

I just wanted my friends to know that things are looking up and I'm happier now than I've been in a long time.